We appreciate the many people in our life, Gregory's and mine, who are appropriately supportive and understanding of what we are living with.
It is appreciated and welcome knowing that their love and support are there for us.
It is appreciated that friendships continue even in the face of the difficulties of being with Gregory, experiencing the changes he is going through, and having to adjust one's own behavior on his behalf.
It is appreciated when a group of friends, heavy in conversation, screech to a halt when Gregory tries to add a thought. The group is comfortable sitting in silence while he processes, fumbles, false starts, and sometimes gets his thought out (or when finally I am able to verbalize it for him.)
It is appreciated when friends are able to "disappear" while I have to help Gregory through a situation like figuring out what is the problem, what are his needs, what is he trying to say, what does he want to have from the menu for dinner, etc.
It is appreciated when friends don't notice that he uses his fingers more while eating, when what he says makes no sense, when he cries easily, when he gets loudly emotional about something he feels strongly about.
It is appreciated when friends understand that I do not necessarily like to talk ALL the time. It is important to me that they realize that I have not only my stories to tell but that I am also in charge of telling Gregory's stories, hopes, desires, expectations, history.
It is appreciated when friends are able to take over for me by going to the bathroom with Gregory, or by making a suggestion, or by listening to him try to share an idea, by being interested in his art, by looking at a picture of something in a book which Gregory found interesting.
It is appreciated when friends offer to help. "I'm here for you if you need me." "What can we do to help?" "Is there something I can do." And even though it is appreciated, it is difficult to take the friend up on their offer. Friends have their own life to lead, have a job to go to, live across town or in another state, can't really be available on a moment's notice, cannot be a support in the day to day, minute to minute support that Gregory needs from waking in the morning until nodding off at night. But we are working on figuring out how friends can help. Maybe a movie date, or lunch out, or an overnighter?
Our friends are appreciated and loved in return.
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