Flummoxed

Have I used this word previously? It sounds strong, doesn't it. And that is why I used it! Other possibilities do not serve as well: perplex, puzzle, bewilder, mystify, bemuse, confuse, confound, faze, stump, fox, discombobulate. I prefer flummoxed. It sounds kind of like "brutally beat up!"


This evening, Gregory and I went to the movies to see "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" in which a group of strangers, British retirees (Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Bill Nighy) decide to "outsource" their retirement to exotic -- and less expensive -- India. Lured by advertisements for the newly restored Marigold Hotel, and imagining a life of leisure in lush surroundings, they arrive to find that the Marigold is actually a shell of its former self. Though their new home is not quite what they had imagined, the retirees find that life and love can begin again when they let go of their pasts.


The movie was funny and moving as well. In some ways I hated being in the audience as an "old person" watching a movie about "old people." But it was inspiring and it would be nice to run away from my problems in Evanston and begin a new life adventure in India, even at 67! We left the movie with tears in eye and feeling a little overwhelmed by the beauty of the plot.


So here is the flummoxed part of the story. We arrived home from the movie at "Coffee Time." I prepared mine and announced to Gregory that it was "Coffee Time." He noted that. 


I showed him that I was putting some special newly purchased bakery cookies on a plate for him. He acknowledged that. 


I placed a mug near the coffee pot for him saying, "Here's your coffee mug." He registered that.


"You are doing almost everything for me!" he commented.


"No, you have to make your own coffee." I laughed.


"OK, I will."


I took my coffee and went to my computer to check e-mails etc. When I brought my empty coffee mug back into the kitchen, I saw the acknowledged cookies still sitting on the counter next to the empty registered coffee mug. Apparently I had lost him at the noted "Coffee Time" part. He got a himself a mug from the cabinet, prepared his coffee, collected his usual cookies from the drawer and proceeded to have "Coffee Time."


I know it is a little thing but I thought we had had a conversation. I was flummoxed at how it turned out, or at how it didn't. It made me feel invisible and unheard and old.