I first suspected that Gregory was having problems long before he was aware of them. Eventually we had the doctor run a number of tests (with Gregory's permission.) When we got the verdict of Alzheimer's we were almost relieved because now we understood what he had been going through and why, as well as what we could do to get on with our life.
As Gregory lost abilities, I learned to compensate. As the rules changed, I was able to figure out what the new ones were. As it became evident that there were no rules, I learned to "roll with the punches." I knew that I had to change my behavior, because he couldn't change his.
I cannot say that I ever had expectations (advance ideas) about what caregiving would entail. I just adjusted as it was needed. I chose not to think too much about what future caregiving might bring as I would rather live for today. That does not mean I don't study up on what I might expect to happen but when it gets too depressing, I put the books down.
As we needed to accomodate we accommodated. As our roles needed to change, they changed. I am fortunate that Gregory has always been so good natured and content and calm and that he has been able to hold on to those attributes even as his abilities continued and continue to dessert him. He defers to me, he trust me, he loves me and I love him.
So my expectations are only that I will continue to grow into being the best caregiver I can be, I will make sure I take care of my own health and mental well being, and I will strive to keep Gregory safe, happy, and involved, I will make the right decisions when I need to make them.
You are one in a million, Michael. I feel so strongly that you and Gregory are so very lucky to have each other. May your love continue to give you strength.
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