Both Sides of the Coin

A person who IS NOT afflicted by Alzheimer's Disease knows that they don't know, remembers that they forgot, understands that they are confused. He can use other words in place of the one forgotten, explain the function or use of the forgotten word, use metaphor or give you a definition of the missing word. He can "talk around" the missing idea. He can say things like, "I can't do this." or "Help me with this please." or "I'm stuck here." or "Give me a minute."

Most often one can do what I call an "Apple Find," like on the computer, wait a few seconds or minutes, or even later that night or the next day, and eventually the brain is able to search and retrieve. Somehow connections still exist and communication, in some form or another, can take place.

A person who IS afflicted by Alzheimer's Disease gets stuck, or lost, or frustrated, or angry. He cannot explain away the difficulty, give you a general idea of what he is trying to say, and sometimes does not realize that he could take you by the hand and SHOW you what he is trying to communicate.

Most often he stares into the distance trying to think, to remember, but the harder he tries the further the idea retreats. Eventually the retrieval not only gets harder but the thought he was trying to retrieve disappears and all is lost.

Frustrating for everyone involved! Sometimes with Gregory, I intuitively know what he is trying to say and after a short wait to give him the chance to come up with the word, I will ask, "Were you trying to ask about ....?"

Usually I can figure it out and both of us are able to avoid frustration. It is getting harder and harder to do this. Some times he just says, "Oh I give up" and he is OK with that. Sometimes I allow, "Oh just forget about it. We'll figure it out later." The irony is that he did just forget it and usually later never comes.