FOR GREGORY. He was not a VICTIM of ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE, he was a HERO!

PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Silence

Today's Daily Word addresses something I continue to work on in my relationship with Gregory. In an effort to "be his words, be his story, support his actions" I find that I continue to jump in too soon. If given a enough time, if given silence, he often is able to formulate his words or work out an action on his own.

In an effort to protect him, often I jump in too soon and often my help only serves to distract and confuse him. Often it frustrates and angers me. It is painful for me to watch him struggle, especially when I can tell from his face and from his posture that he is indeed struggling. Even more difficult is that when he cannot come up with what he was trying to say or do, he is not able to move to "Can you help me?" Just silence. Painful silence. So often I have to jump in.

Another situation that I continue to work at monitoring is "When do I need to correct him?" The guideline is "Are babies dying?" Translated this means does the fact that he is not doing something correctly matter? Is he in danger? If not, I try to say nothing. Silence. But often I am already giving feedback when I realize to late, "Not necessary." Silence would have been better.

So recently, after I "mess up" I repeat silently to myself, "Say nothing. Do nothing. Say nothing. Do nothing." Besides helping me calm down I am trying to bring my actions to a higher conscious level so I do not react, but rather act ahead of time. Act before I speak.

At the same time I am carrying on an argument with myself because at times I must "Say something. Do something." It is not fair to him or to myself to always say or do nothing. So I have been looking for a better mantra.

With this Daily Word, I have that mantra:  SILENCE. Working at being silent (and repeating the word "Silence" over and over again) will give me time to think, while waiting to see if I have to jump in. This is the answer to how I might handle myself when these occasions arise.

At least for now. At least until the game rules change again. I'll let you know how it works.

(As I usually do when sharing a Daily Word post, I have revised the thoughts to reflect my spirituality.)


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Today's Daily Word

Saturday, December 24, 2011
SILENCE
In the Silence, I am strengthened and renewed.
Before I begin my day, I rest in the silence of the morning, close my eyes and breathe in deeply. A smile comes to my lips as I feel the loving presence of God life.


In silence there is power, depth, beauty and strength. I can never be alone, for God love and life dwell s within me. Silently, my prayers thoughts go forth to bless send love to a dear one, and silently, I meditate upon the joy within.
It is in the silence that God strengthens my faith in life and in myself and fills me with courage. In the silence are born new aspirations, new inspirations and renewed faith. In the silence, I walk and commune with the my indwelling Spirituality and rest in God's life's sustaining love. Peace, be still. I am in the presence of the Almighty. In glorious wonderment I travel on holy ground. I experience myself both inward and outward, during calm times and during turbulent times, and know that both are signs that I am alive as I travel life's path and that all is well.
Be silent, all people, before the Lord.--Zechariah 2:13

1 comment:

  1. Silence is golden......or so they say. I think your use of silence in these situations is a great idea...giving you time to figure out what to say or do.
    Michael, I SO admire your devotion to doing just the right thing for Greg, at all times. Your relationship is truly to be admired.
    Love you cousin!!

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