Letting Go

After the events, probably usual events, of going to bed this evening upset me I went into the closet, no lights, and cried, no longer productive nor comforting to cry in the arms of my love. And as I cried and realized why I was upset, I whispered over and over, "It is so hard to let go. It is so hard to let go. It is so hard to let go."

Then my mind said to me, "There is power in words. If you say it is hard then it will be hard!"

So I started chanting, "I am letting go. I am letting go. I am letting go." And as I chanted I became more in touch with my emotions, cried harder, cried tears, cried grief.

Maybe I can tell myself to "let go" before I get upset ... "but is is so hard." Maybe that is a good compromise, "I am letting go and it is hard."