Work

Some people get up every morning and go to WORK. This may seem over simplistic to you, but bare with me.

WORK is part of their life and they get paid for it. After WORK, they go home and get on with living their life. The money they earn at WORK is what helps them pay for what they need to live; food, shelter, clothing, health care, entertainment, etc.

(A caveat here: Some people WORK several jobs. Some people not only WORK several jobs but also have a family to raise. Therefore some do not have a lot of time to enjoy life let alone have  enough money to provide the things their family needs.)

For some people WORK is living other people's lives. Nurses, doctors, home health care workers, rehab personnel, assisted living center staff, personal secretaries of the wealthy, Barak Obama's aids, etc. They get up every morning (or pm or night shift) and go to WORK. They spend their time at WORK making sure other people are safe, clean, comfortable, fed, entertained, etc. Then they go home and live their own life.

You get my point here. This morning after yet another "glitch" in Gregory's memory, I began thinking about the fact that my life has become the WORK of making sure Gregory is safe, clean, comfortable, fed, entertained, etc. While I do not get paid for my services (which are provided out of love) and while my WORK is 24/7, I still try to find some time to take care of myself and live my own life. Not easy.

As Gregory's personal, cognitive, emotional, and physical skills ebb and flow, as the "rules of the game" continue to change or at times do not exist, my WORK gets more difficult. And while I cannot imagine my life without him, I cannot begin to imagine how I will be able to continue to provide for his needs as they become not only more and more demanding, but as they become more and more cloud like. By this I mean undefinable, unidentifiable, non understandable. I know that I have options but meanwhile I have to get on with the day to day activities that support our life and try to deal with the emotions that overwhelm when the vail parts and I see the future.

At the same time I must mention that Gregory commented last night as we were drifting of to sleep, "I love my live." And while it is 18 degrees outside our condo is warm, our pantry is stocked, our bills are paid, our friends and family are supportive, our health is good, our life is good.