Surprise Interactions

I used to call these "Slaps in the Face" but now call them "Surprise Interactions." I am referring to incidents between Gregory and myself that serve to remind me that Alzheimer's is the path we are walking. Enough of the time our life seems normal, so when a SI takes place I respond normally. I wish I could just respond calmly, softly, respectfully instead of with anger, a loud voice, assuming he is stupid. There it is, honest but true. Does that make me a bad person? No, just a work in progress with the rules changing hourly, daily, sometimes by the minute. I continue to improve and am much better than I used to be. Good me. Good me. Good boy.


I asked him to take out the "yuck" which has come to refer by mutual agreement to the "dirty garbage" or all that is not recyclable. It also includes the garbage pails in the two bathrooms and the pail in which we toss zip-locked kitty litter waste. From Gregory's point of view, I can understand how complicated all of this must be. 


Usually he knows what to do but just now when I asked him to "Take out the YUCK" he didn't know what I was asking. I reiterated the above information and he stood there, as if in a daze, confused. If I give him all of the information at one time he cannot focus. If I give one piece of the information and wait until he understands and executes the information he waits to hear all of the information. Sometimes he responds as if to say, "Why are you treating me like I am stupid?"


If I get frustrated and explain the difference between one part directions and multi part directions but then he forgets everything we discussed previously. This is usually when I "blow." 


We are having company over for lunch. I just finished setting up the buffet, preparing the food, washing up afterwards. I asked him to "Polish the counter" as I placed the paper towel and granite polish in front of him. Maybe he wasn't listening but he proceeded to get the sponge, rinse it out, and wipe down the counter. I stopped him and explained that he only needed to "Polish." His mildly angry response was, "I usually get it right don't I?" To which I responded, "Yes you do but I get frustrated because I asked and showed you what needed to be done and you proceeded to go off in your own direction."


I put a kitchen town down in front of him and asked, "Please get a clean one." He didn't know what to do. I repeated, "Please get a clean towel." "Oh," he responded, "I didn't hear the word towel." Last time I asked for a new towel, I got a bathroom towel because I didn't say "kitchen" even though I handed him the dirty kitchen towel.


So I guess that lessons come in strange ways when you need them. After these several incidents, in which I wasn't at my best but also wasn't at my worst, I turned over one of my daily affirmation cards from Wayne Dyer. It said, "Let go of your ego's need to be right. When you're in the middle of an argument, ask yourself: Do I want to be right or be happy? When you choose the joyous, loving, spiritual mode, your connection to intention is strengthened. I think this applies to today's SIs but will have to think about how it applies to use on the "path."